It Takes Two

It takes two people to keep a friendship alive. When one stops and leaves the other to do all the work, that one person who wanted to keep the friendship alive must eventually let go and move on. That alone is one of the hardest things a person can do. I would know. I'm in the process of finding it within myself to just let go of a person I thought was going to be a close friend for a long time. And it really seemed that way too, until her boyfriend entered the picture. Ever since she started dating him, he's the only person she spends her free time with. I've tried to invite her to hang out, but every time she's busy with some excuse. If this were over the course of a month, I could see it as being understandable, but when it's over the course of 6 months, there really isn't any excuse. I know people who are way more busy but still find time to show me they care about my existence. And honestly, I just need to let go and say enough is enough. If she wants to be friends than she can prove it instead of making me do all the work.

My muse is dead.

I wonder why I do this to myself.
I stare at other peoples works of art and find myself losing faith in my own. My work is no where near as good as others and I fear that no one will like it. This is usually the case as my art goes unnoticed when I publish it on deviantART.
After some time I find that my muse had slowed withered away until he is dead. Then I find myself unable to do anything good.
But then I feel bad because unlike some of the better artists, I'm not talented, I don't have a good camera, nor do I have a tablet to allow for digital drawing.
In the end I feel like shit and want to burn my art.
The only people who ever really show appreciation for it is my parents.
Maybe I'm not meant to do this art shit.

Eclipse Tea Party

The other day while on the fun with my friend I came up with this quirky yet brilliant and so me idea to do.
I'm planning to go to the midnight showing of The Twilight Saga: Eclipse. Inspired by the kids who did this for New Moon, I've decided to wait out all day at the movie theater to make sure I get good seats. To help pass the time, I've also decided to bring tea cups and a tea pot and have a mini tea party in the lobby of the movie theater. How will I serve hot tea? I'm gonna make it in the morning and keep it in a thermos to stay warm (then pour it in the tea pot to pour into the cups).
I may look like a lunatic, but I'll be an elegant one.

3-20-2010

I bottle everything up until it slowly eats away at me from the inside out.

Let's all take a chance on something strange...

Recently with how Hate Culture: A William Control Fansite is still growing and it's almost a year old, I decided to start a blog for it. The blog, called Let's All Take a Chance on Something Strange is a place to find out about updates to the site, possible future updates, anything William Control related and the mad thoughts that preoccupy the Admins mind (well the ones in relation to the site anyhow, the others are found here, obviously).

Check it out: http://hatecultureblog.blogspot.com/

Permit

Yes, after many years procrastinating, I have finally gotten my permit. It's rather exciting. Soon I will be on my way to my licence and freedom. I will finally be able to have a life, maybe even a social life.

These violent delights have violent ends.

I got myself into another relationship. Did it last long? No. Why? Becuase of me. And becuase it was another long distance one. I can't handle the distance. Every guy who seems to be interested in me live far away. Why? I don't know. It just happens that way. However, the distance, it just eats away at me on the inside until I'm lieterally going crazy thinking about it and just losing any hope in ever having a "real" relationship.
It seems that anymore I'm quite capable of breaking my own heart.